“The 15 Top Facts They Forget To Tell You About Aliya.”
The Jewish Agency and Nefesh b Nefesh entice World Jewry to make aliya with a list of promises and a smattering of rhetoric.
Here for the first time, The Times of Israel, in conjunction with AwesomeSeminars.com present “The 15 Top Facts They Forget to Tell You About Aliya.”
Fact One
Your children will be Israeli. A small detail but important. Not only will they be first generation sabra, they will; laugh at your Hebrew, correct your grammar and wonder why you demand they use such words as “please and thank you.”
Fact Two
Within five years your Hebrew will not get better, but your English will become worse. You will be unable to speak any language correctly before 8.30am. Hint – invest in a good spell check.
Fact Three
If you are English, South African, Australian or just over weight, you will be considered American by Israelis. I made aliya from England to become an american or “anglo.”
Fact Four
Forget ulpan, Israelis will speak English to you.
Fact Five
Hebrew doesn’t sound right in an English accent.
Fact Six
Within five years you will not be able to wait in a line. Elbows will have uses never thought of before.
Fact Seven
You will look at your bank statement to check how much you don’t have in your account. The larger your overdraft the more successful the aliya. The statement “the way to make a large fortune in Israel is to come with a big one” will become less funny as the reality sinks in.
Fact Eight
If you make aliya in your twenties you will have endless friends staying with you from abroad, having discovered cheap accommodation in Israel. Within ten years they will have forgotten you. Search in the David Citidal Hotel, you will find them there.
Fact Nine
Cars are taxed at 100%, Cadburys chocolate just isn’t the same in Israel and East Enders is two weeks behind Britain. (Americans,just remember the 100%)
Fact Ten
You will wear sandals for 5 years feeling like a combination of a sabra and Jesus, only to realise that there are more comfortable options.
Fact Twelve
Other country’s news will become inane.
Fact Thirteen
Within five years you will “tut” instead of saying no and you will drive in a way you would never believe.
Fact Fourteen
You will shout at a traffic cop. I promise you, you will.
Fact Fifteen
Despite all of the above, your children will be Jewish and will have a sense of pride. You will walk the roads where Jewish prophets and Kings once walked. You will celebrate Jewish holidays and walk streets named after mega Jews not Saints. You will have joined Jewish history in it’s making and you will, as an Israeli, be a Jew and not Jewish.
ORIGINALLY FROM The Times of Israel
