Beyond Tears: Mourning Jerusalem to See Its Joy

This year has been challenging to contemplate Tisha B’Av. It feels like we have been in mourning since Simchat Torah, October 7th. This year, we don’t need a reminder to mourn. Instead, I want to reflect on the famous words of Chazal: “Whoever mourns for Jerusalem will merit to see its happiness” (Ta’anit 30b).

What message are Chazal trying to convey? Clearly, there is a deeper conceptual message that goes beyond the literal, for Jews have been mourning the destruction of Jerusalem and its Temple for thousands of years and have not yet experienced the complete joy of redemption.

Chazal’s exhortation here appears to be prescriptive rather than descriptive. Chazal provide a formula for the Jewish people: to see the joy of redemption, it is essential to actively mourn the suffering and loss of Jerusalem.

Why is this the case? Rav Chaim of Volozhin draws a parallel to Ya’akov Avinu, who refused to be comforted over the loss of his son Yosef. As long as Ya’akov mourned, and the pain remained alive within him, Yosef remained alive in some sense. On a deep level, Ya’akov had not given up. This refusal to stop mourning embodies a refusal to accept reality. Similarly, the continued mourning over Jerusalem kept it alive in our hearts, against all odds, through thousands of years of exile.

From this perspective, mourning Jerusalem is not just a passive emotional experience, but an active experience that Chazal enjoin us to choose. This recalls Rav Soloveitchik’s distinction between personal mourning for a loved one and the national and collective mourning of Tisha B’Av. He explains that when one loses a loved one, the pain is visceral and immediate. Therefore, the laws of mourning follow the natural pattern of human emotional experience: most intense during shiva (the week of mourning), then during shloshim (the first month), and finally tapering off until the end of the first year.

In contrast, we may not feel the pain of mourning Jerusalem and the Beit HaMikdash as naturally. Therefore, we build up to it, starting with the three weeks from Shiva Asar B’Tammuz, intensifying on Rosh Chodesh for the Nine Days, then the week of Tisha B’Av, and culminating in the mourning of Tisha B’Av itself.

If so, mourning for Jerusalem contains more than an emotional aspect; it also includes a cognitive, intentional element. Contemplating the significance of the loss, its tragedy, and meaning, is an inherent part of the mourning of Tisha B’Av.

This may answer our question: what is the meaning of Chazal’s statement that those who mourn Jerusalem will merit to see its happiness? Perhaps Chazal are suggesting that we should mourn our loss in a deep and sustained way, including cheshbon hanefesh – taking stock of our behavior. We should ask: How did we get here? Chazal provide the answer: sinat chinam – enmity, hatred, negativity toward each other. If we reflect on this seriously, this will evoke an emotional reaction of mourning.

What will happen next? The answer seems clear. If we seriously contemplate this question and let it penetrate our being and cause us pain, it will hopefully lead to action. We will realize that if we want this pain to end, we cannot wait for others to change their behavior or for an external solution. The only true locus of control we have is over our own actions. Everything else is in G-d’s hands. And we will begin to ask ourselves: what can I change? How can I be more loving, kinder, and increase ahavat chinam, the love that Rav Kook says will counterbalance the sinat chinam and restore the Mikdash?

This year, the emotional component of mourning does not elude us as it perhaps has in past years. Yet, perhaps our response should be to adopt Rav Soloveitchik’s approach and mourn not just emotionally but also through deep reflection. This fusion of emotion and reflection will hopefully be the impetus for greater personal and collective change, a seriousness of purpose about what brought us to this place.

When we engage in that seriousness of purpose, small-mindedness melts away. We have no time for it. The stakes are too high. The country of Israel felt that intensity in the immediate aftermath of October 7. This Tisha B’Av, if we recommit to that sense of immediacy, importance, and dire need, something may change. We may continue to have differences of opinion and to disagree. But if this comes from a place of conscious, serious-minded, and urgent mourning, hopefully, it will be sweetened with ahavat Yisrael, and the poison of bitterness will be removed. Perhaps that will be the catalyst for true redemption, and we will merit to experience the rejoicing of Jerusalem.

Rabbanit Mali Brofsky is is a senior faculty member and in-house mental health professional at Michlelet Mevaseret Yerushalayim. She also teaches for the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Hebrew University, and runs a clinical practice in Gush Etzion.