There’s something about Sukkot that feels almost contradictory. We leave our sturdy homes and step into something temporary, fragile, open to the elements. The roof is unfinished. The walls sway a little. And yet, this is called zman simchateinu – the season of our joy. Because real joy doesn’t come from perfect conditions. It comes from presence, from connection, from choosing to show up even when things aren’t so sturdy.
If you’re dating, or longing for a relationship, that message hits close to home. So many people are waiting until everything feels “ready” – until they feel more secure, more certain, more put together. But love doesn’t happen in the perfectly constructed house. It happens in the sukkah. It happens when you’re willing to be seen in the in-between. Dating, at its best, is not about presenting a finished version of yourself. It’s about inviting someone into your world while it’s still unfolding – letting them sit with you under a roof that lets in a little light, and maybe a little vulnerability. And that takes courage.
Then comes Simchat Torah. After days of introspection and meaning, we don’t sit quietly reflecting – we dance. We hold the Torah close and move with joy, in circles, again and again. No one asks if they’re a good enough dancer. No one waits on the side until they feel ready. We just join. And I think about how many singles are standing on the sidelines of their own lives, watching relationships happen for other people, waiting for the perfect moment to step in. But relationships are not built from perfection. They are built from participation – from showing up, from saying yes, from taking the next step even when you don’t know exactly where it leads.
This is where the work of the Jewish Matchmaking Movement becomes essential. We don’t just need more singles trying harder. We need communities stepping up. There was a time when every community understood that helping people find each other was a shared responsibility. Today, too many people say “I don’t know anyone for you” and step back. But what if that changed? Just as every community has a rabbi, a teacher, a leader – what if we also had someone who leads in connection? Someone who notices who is single, thinks about possibilities, makes introductions, and hosts events a few times a year. We call this matchmaking. And we don’t need someone else to do it. We need someone in your community to say yes. Maybe that’s you. Maybe it’s someone you know. But someone has to go first – because when one person begins, something shifts. Introductions start happening. People feel seen. Hope becomes tangible again.
We don’t do this just so people can go on more dates. We do this so we can dance more – so that the joy we feel on Simchat Torah doesn’t stay in the synagogue, circling the bimah. So that it expands into wedding halls, into homes, into communities filled with connection and life.
So what can you do, starting now? First, shift your mindset: you don’t need to be a matchmaker to make a match, you just need to care enough to try. Think of one person who is single, and one possible match for them. Make a simple, thoughtful introduction – no pressure, no long explanation. Then follow up, because your belief in someone matters more than you think. And if you’re single: keep showing up. Don’t wait until everything feels perfect. Step into the sukkah. Step onto the dance floor. Let yourself be part of the process. Love isn’t something you arrive at – it’s something you build together.
As we move from Sukkot into Simchat Torah, may we carry that message with us. May we have the courage to open our lives even when they feel unfinished, and the willingness to step forward even when it feels uncertain. May we, as individuals and as communities, take responsibility for helping one another find connection. And may we merit to dance not just in celebration of the Torah, but in celebration of one another – at weddings, in joy, in the homes and families we help create.
Aleeza Ben Shalom is a soulmate clarity coach. She was on Netflix’s “Jewish Matchmaking” and is an in-demand speaker, expert, and author of numerous books. She leads the Jewish Matchmaking Movement, in partnership with World Mizrachi.
The Jewish Matchmaking Movement is an exciting global collaboration between World Mizrachi and Aleeza Ben Shalom to guarantee future Jewish generations.