Rebuilding the Jewish People: From Mourning, to Comfort, to Connection

Every year, as the Jewish calendar turns toward the summer’s most emotionally charged stretch, we’re asked to do something deeply human and deeply uncomfortable. We sit on the floor on Tisha B’Av, mourning destruction, loss, and the fractures between us. And then, almost immediately, we’re asked to get up, dust ourselves off, and begin again – because just days later, we arrive at Tu B’Av, a day our Sages describe as one of the happiest on the Jewish calendar. A day of love. A day of connection. A day when matches were made.

If that feels like emotional whiplash, it’s because it is. But it’s also the point. Tisha B’Av isn’t only about what was destroyed – it’s about why it was destroyed. The Gemara teaches that the Second Beit HaMikdash fell because of sinat chinam, baseless hatred. Disconnection. Judgment. Distance between people. Tu B’Av represents the repair: choosing love where there was once separation, rebuilding not with stones, but with relationships. And nowhere is that more real than in the world of dating and marriage. Everyone I work with is, in some way, navigating the space between those two days – the heartbreak of what didn’t work, and the hope for what still could.

That’s why the days between Tisha B’Av and Tu B’Av aren’t just a transition – they’re an opportunity. Within the Jewish Matchmaking Movement, we’ve begun to call this stretch Jewish Matchmaking Week. From the day after Tisha B’Av until Tu B’Av, communities around the world are encouraged to actively step into the role of connector, supporter, and builder. Because rebuilding the Jewish people doesn’t only happen through institutions. It happens through introductions. Through noticing someone who’s still single. Through making that call you’ve been meaning to make. Through setting up that match you weren’t sure would work – but might. We don’t sit back and wait for Tu B’Av to celebrate love. We build toward it.

And let’s not forget Shabbat Nachamu, the Shabbat of comfort. After the depth of mourning, we’re offered a collective exhale – a reminder that healing is not only possible, it’s already beginning. It’s also one of the most powerful, and often overlooked, opportunities for connection. There’s something uniquely grounding about Shabbat: no swiping, no distractions, just real conversations, shared meals, and the kind of presence that allows people to actually see each other. Hosting a Shabbaton on Shabbat Nachamu isn’t just convenient timing – it’s aligned with the emotional rhythm of the calendar. From comfort comes connection.

So what can you actually do during Jewish Matchmaking Week? Start simple. Host a Friday night dinner and invite a mix of singles – people who might not otherwise meet. Organize a community learning night focused on relationships. Create a “matchmaking circle,” a small group of friends or community members who gather specifically to think of matches for one another. It takes the pressure off any one person and turns it into a shared mission. And perhaps most importantly, shift your mindset. Instead of thinking, “It’s not my place,” start thinking, “Maybe it is.” Because it is. We are all, whether we realize it or not, part of the fabric that either separates or connects.

Tisha B’Av reminds us what happens when we let that fabric tear. Tu B’Av reminds us what’s possible when we choose to mend it. So this year, don’t just move from mourning to joy – be part of the bridge between them. Be the reason someone meets. Be the reason someone tries again. Be the reason a story begins. As I always say: “Matches make families, families create communities, and communities change the world.” May you have the courage to see who’s in front of you, the wisdom to know how to help, and the blessing to witness the connections you spark turn into something lasting, meaningful, and full of light.

Aleeza Ben Shalom is a soulmate clarity coach. She was on Netflix’s “Jewish Matchmaking” and is an in-demand speaker, expert, and author of numerous books. She leads the Jewish Matchmaking Movement, in partnership with World Mizrachi.

The Jewish Matchmaking Movement is an exciting global collaboration between World Mizrachi and Aleeza Ben Shalom to guarantee future Jewish generations.