In recounting the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash, the Gemara presents stories that both commemorate our collective tragedy and offer theological meaning for the churban’s devastation. One such account stands out for its profound sadness. For the rabbis say as result of this episode their fate was sealed.
“Rav Yehuda said in the name of Rav: What is the meaning of ‘so they oppress a man and his house, even a man and his heritage’ (Micha 2:2)? There was an incident involving a certain man who set his eyes on his master’s wife, and he was a carpenter’s apprentice. One time his master needed to borrow some money, and his apprentice said to him: Send your wife to me and I will lend her the money. He sent his wife to him, and he spent three days with her. The master arose early and went to the apprentice, and said to him: Where is my wife whom I sent to you? The apprentice said: I sent her back immediately, but I heard that some youth abused her on the way. The master said: What shall I do? The apprentice said: If you listen to my advice, divorce her. He said to him: But her marriage contract is large and I do not have the money to pay it. The apprentice said to him: I will lend you the money, and you will give her payment of her marriage contract. The master arose and divorced her, and the apprentice went and married her. When the time came that the debt was due, and he did not have the means with which to repay it, the apprentice said to his master: Come and work off your debt with me. And they, the apprentice and his wife, would sit and eat and drink, while he, the woman’s first husband, would stand over them and serve them their drinks. And tears would drop from his eyes and fall into their cups, and at that time the Jewish people’s sentence was sealed. And some say for ‘two wicks in one lamp’” (Gittin 58a).
This story unfolds as a tragedy of lust, deception, and unspeakable cruelty. At its center stands a man who covets his master’s wife – a betrayal particularly vile given that this very master had taught him his trade and secured his livelihood. His desire leads him to destroy his benefactor through calculated deceit, bringing about not only financial devastation but a final, crushing humiliation: the ruined master must now serve wine to his former wife and her new companion – his own former apprentice – left with nothing but his tears.
Despite the deviousness and cruelty displayed, we are at a loss to understand why one isolated act of infidelity and treachery resulted in exile. If this story was somehow a metaphor for the entire Jewish people, it would provide a greater explanation. Apparently, this story is symptomatic of a fault that existed within the people which caused the eventual destruction.
While the story begins with lust as the driving force, the Gemara suggests this may not tell the complete picture by offering two different interpretations of what actually occurred. The second interpretation describes “two wicks in one candle” – which Rashi explains as a metaphor for adultery, meaning the prohibition against sleeping with a married woman was violated. But what does the first interpretation suggest?
The Gemara emphasizes that the moment the husband witnessed this cruel spectacle and wept, the fate of the Jewish people was sealed. This raises a crucial question: was this act of cruelty separate from adultery, or did it include adultery?
When the Gemara presents adultery as an alternative explanation, it implies that the primary interpretation involves cruelty without adultery. In other words, the devastating impact came not from sexual transgression, but from the sheer heartlessness of forcing a man to serve his former wife and his betrayer – a humiliation so profound it triggered divine judgment upon the entire nation.
This interpretation is harder to grasp. If lust began the story but adultery wasn’t the ultimate sin, what truly motivated this devastating act? The answer lies in understanding what led to the destruction of the first and second Batei Mikdash. The Second Beit HaMikdash’s destruction stemmed from sinat chinam – baseless hatred – not the sexual immorality that caused the first destruction.
The Yerushalmi expands this concept of sinat chinam, adding other elements that plagued the generation of destruction: “We find that the first Beit HaMikdash was only destroyed because of idolatry, sexual sins and murder, but at the time of the second Beit HaMikdash they were diligent in Torah study, careful with the commandments and tithes, and all elements of good were with them, but they loved money and hated one another with groundless hatred” (Yoma 1:1).
This creates a troubling portrait: scrupulously observant, devoted to Torah study, yet money-obsessed and filled with hatred toward others. Perhaps this describes our apprentice perfectly. If he lusted after the woman but remained chaste, it was likely due to his inflated sense of nobility and honor. His restraint probably only reinforced his exaggerated self-righteousness.
But what drove him to orchestrate such cruelty? Did he truly need to force his former teacher to serve wine to him and his new bride? Did he consider his mentor’s tears at all?
Clearly not. The apprentice was consumed by hatred – why else would he have taken that final, devastating step of forcing his former mentor to witness his ex-wife’s intimacy with her new husband? This wasn’t about lust or even greed. It was pure, calculated cruelty born of sinat chinam.
Before we return to the motivation of the apprentice, let us turn our attention to the behavior of the wife. For the most part she is treated as an object in the story, sent by one man and then taken by another. The ease in which she seamlessly makes the shift from one man to the other is disturbing. She agrees to marry the apprentice. She chooses to sit and eat and drink as her ex-husband is now forced to watch and work. It sounds as if there is collusion between her and the apprentice.
Let us reconsider the story through a different lens. The husband appears to be an abusive personality who craves control over his victims. The apprentice understands this dynamic perfectly. When the husband seeks advice and is told to divorce his wife, he agrees without hesitation. No emotional attachment? No attempt to find her?
The apprentice anticipated this exact response. Now we understand the wife’s attraction to the apprentice – they were both fed up with their abusive, manipulative master/husband. But lust wasn’t the only motive, and liberation wasn’t sufficient. The husband had to be utterly humiliated. This reframes the entire narrative: two victims of an abuser conspiring not just to escape, but to destroy their tormentor through calculated degradation.
There is another crucial element needed to be understood in order to gain insight into the choice of this story as a paradigm used to describe the generation. Both the apprentice and the wife did not believe they did anything wrong. They did not think they sinned. These people were observant. But they harbored one dark place – a place of venom and hatred. The danger escalates when people not only sin, but convince themselves their destructive acts were actually righteous.
This captures the apprentice’s essence – outwardly observant, inwardly poisoned. So enamored with religious appearances, he couldn’t fathom that he was committing a grave sin. This self-deception was endemic to that generation’s behavior.
Jealousy, desire, and hatred have plagued humanity since time immemorial. But when we justify our hatred and convince ourselves we’re performing a mitzvah, we make repentance impossible.
The apprentice and his new wife savored their wine, relished the lesson they believed they had taught their “terrible, abusive” tormentor, and enjoyed having their new servant – until the Romans arrived and destroyed everything.
Rabbi Ari Kahn is Director of the One Year Overseas Student Program at Bar-Ilan University, where he is a senior lecturer in Jewish Studies. He lives in Givat Ze’ev, where he serves as Rabbi of the Mishkan Etrog community. He has authored thirteen books on Jewish thought including the highly acclaimed Echoes of Eden series, and the bestseller “The Crowns on the Letters”.