Rabbi Daniel Fridman of the Jewish Center of Teaneck with widows Raz Tahan, Inbal Moyal, and Bergen County Shabbat Chayal volunteers

Four women shuffle mahjong tiles on a terrace at the Jerusalem Windmill. In a Detroit pool, swimmers do lap after lap to raise funds for Israel’s “Wonder Women.” In Bergen County, New Jersey, a community opens its homes to the widows of fallen soldiers, hearing their stories and raising crucial funds. A few thousand miles away, a man moved by hearing one widow speak runs 94 miles through an Arizona canyon for Kuma.

None of them set out to make a statement about Tisha B’Av. None of them coordinated with one another. And yet, this year, that’s exactly what they did.

Tisha B’Av mourns what sinat chinam, baseless hatred, cost us. This year, grassroots efforts answered with the opposite, channeling their hearts toward Kuma, Sulamot’s initiative, founded by Rav Yosef Zvi Rimon, supporting the IDF widows and orphans of the Iron Swords War.

“It is moving to see Am Yisrael unite and to see how each person finds their own unique way to care for the widows,” says Rav Rimon. “The Jewish people are uplifted when we think of everyone, forgetting no one, especially those who paid a heavy price so that Am Yisrael would prevail in the war.”

Nowhere was that clearer than in Bergen County. Twenty years ago, Reva and Aaron Tokayer turned their grief over their son Ilan z”l into Shabbat Chayal, a tradition uniting local synagogues behind Israel’s soldiers. This year, for the first time, the entire program turned to support Kuma. “Grief, even after twenty years, is lonely,” Reva says. “We felt that we could pay our story forward by supporting the families in need of an understanding ear and an extended arm.” Widows Inbal Moyal and Raz Tahan traveled across Bergen County, carrying forward the legacy of their husbands, Chief Warrant Officer Uri Moyal Hy”d and Sergeant Major Rani Tahan Hy”d, men whose deaths, as the saying goes, commanded us to live: בְּמוֹתָם צִוּוּ לָנוּ אֶת הַחַיִּים.

“Rav Rimon’s vision to help each widow according to their individual needs is an unmatched way of fulfilling the great mitzvah of caring for almanot and yetomim,” said Rabbi Daniel Fridman of the Jewish Center of Teaneck, who spearheaded the Bergen County Kuma mission. “There can be no greater communal debt than that which we carry to these families.” Volunteers across the county rose to support the widows as they shared their stories of heartbreak and resilience, helping a program that already supports over 250 widows and is growing to meet the needs of all 370. The volunteers were so moved that they built a Kuma mission toolkit: a way for any community, anywhere, to open its homes and hearts to Kuma’s widows too.

One who answered that call was Dov Sebrow. Moved by hearing Raz Tahan speak in Bergen County, he self-funded his entry and gear so every dollar would reach the widows, then ran 94 miles of the Sedona Canyons race in Arizona, and has already signed up to return next year and continue to raise awareness and funds for Kuma.

Dov Sebrow running the Sedona for Kuma

The local Frisch Parents Association mobilized for Kuma as well. More than 100 women came out for Inbal, Raz and their fellow sisters in arms. They came to listen; they stayed to give, packing care packages for Kuma’s families.

That spirit, women showing up for women, carried across the ocean too. In Jerusalem, the Mahjong Mavens, founded by a group of friends, turned their weekly game into “Mahjong & Merlot for Kuma,” an evening at the Jerusalem Winery beside the historic Yemin Moshe Windmill. When talk turned to fundraising, Kuma felt like the obvious answer. “Mahjong brings women together around the table, creating friendship, community, and belonging,” Shira Grunstein says. “Partnering with Kuma is a natural extension of that spirit: women showing up for women who have sacrificed so much.” She sees it as the start of something larger, an initiative inaugurated in Jerusalem but reaching mahjong circles across the globe, so that everywhere Jewish women gather to play, they come to know exactly what Kuma is.

In Detroit, Shelley Littman has run a community swim-a-thon for years, and since October 7th for Israel: first for farmers, then for IDF soldiers, and this past March, as “Team Frum & Fit,” for Kuma’s widows. A community of women, Littman explained, swimming to support women who lost their husbands defending the homeland.

And they are far from alone. From Los Angeles to Chicago to New York, communities have helped to raise funds for Kuma.

Each found their own unique way to show up for Israel’s heroines. That may be the truest answer to Tisha B’Av: not one grand gesture, but many small, stubborn refusals to let grief have the last word. Am Yisrael uniting, in the rhythms of everyday life, behind the extraordinary women who carry a responsibility that belongs to us all. Heroes fell. Heroines rise.

Inbar Gabay Zada is the Director of Development at Sulamot.

Am Yisrael needs you. Become a Kuma ambassador. Host an event. Run a race. Deal a hand of mahjong. Whatever you love, lend it to this cause: raise funds, spread the word, or simply donate. Email inbar@sulamot.org or visit kuma.sulamot.org/en/eng to find your way to rise with them.